I DID IT!!!! It was unbelievably hot (I was actually sweating a bit at the start line), and there were definitely lots of moments when I thought I couldn’t, but I DID. It took 5 hours and 12 minutes and I felt every single second. It was the most incredible day and I was surrounded by the most inspirational people. The crowds are just phenomenal. Everyone wants you to succeed. If you’re thinking about it, do it. You won’t ever regret it. It was absolutely amazing and I LOVED IT. I cried crossing the finish line, the type of crying when you can’t get your breath and you make funny noises by accident and you look a bit weird….. so I declined an official photograph – but here I am….exhausted and a bit delirious, but absolutely made up. 7 months ago I just would not have thought this possible. It still feels completely unreal.
On the fundraising front I have now crossed £7000 which is just unbelievable, so, as ever, thank you. As funding everywhere is cut, this is money that is so badly needed by Addaction and as I said previously, we really are changing lives. I thank each and every one of you. The Virgin Giving page will be open for a few more weeks so please donate if you haven’t already! The link is at the bottom of this post.
So, last month was meant to be my final blog but it seems I have found my voice and I just have a little bit more to say. So here it is, I promise, the final (and much shorter) blog.
This has been a really, really emotional 7 months for me. I just never really had any idea what lay in store after I decided to run and start this blog. It’s been tiring and elating. It’s been a steep learning curve. Here are the most important things I’ve learnt:
– Marathon training hurts. I went on countless runs that I didn’t feel like doing, I have had to toughen up (my not very tough) bottom on the bike, I have had to toughen up generally, and despite being Northern I am not that great in the cold (sorry Dad). And my knees will NEVER let me do this again.
– Bikes aren’t as bad as I thought. The “no underwear and Vaseline” advice from the bike shop wasn’t a joke.
– People really care. I have been sent the most beautiful encouraging messages over the last 7 months. I’ve had people just saying “keep going”, “well done”, “thank you”, and people telling me personal stories of their experience of addiction. The statistics tell me 1 in 5 of us are affected by addiction, I’m not sure I’d have believed it before, now I do. As I said in a previous blog, many more of you have experience of addiction than I ever knew. And that’s the thing isn’t it. None of us talked about it. So what I’ve learnt too, which I think I knew a bit before, is that we all wander around, getting on with life, we all reply “good thanks”, and that “we had a lovely weekend” and “wasn’t it nice that the rain stopped and the sun shone”, and “isn’t it lovely now the nights are lighter” and it’s nice to talk like that. But no one has nothing. Everyone has something they need support with. Everyone needs empathy every now and then, everyone needs a rest or a break, or reminding that they’re loved. Always Be Kind. Whether you have an addiction, or a relative or friend with addiction, or whether addiction isn’t an issue you have to deal with at all, we all need kindness.
You have given kindness to me in spades. Some messages told me how much the blog has helped people. You have no idea how much your support and messages have helped me. As I said in the recovery blog, this marathon just would not have happened without the love and support of my family and friends.
So, some special THANK YOUS:
– Sarane Brennan for your exquisite handmade Christmas quilt which we auctioned on eBay. There was so much work involved for you, and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Thank you so much for a really wonderful donation.
– Cathy Owbridge – for the gorgeous “Always Be Kind” prints that we sold. Again, so much time for you, and they’re so beautiful. I love walking past mine everyday and knowing where it’s come from.
– Emma, for the wonderful card of support that came through the door at the beginning just as I was ready to pack it in and for the wonderful gift of recovery swims.
– Dawn, my living room is full of cards and postcards with words of encouragement.
– My March 25th runners and supporters, who came out in force to see me through my longest run. And Sarah Smith for having the idea! It really was the most wonderful day and I will always remember it and all of you who came out to support.
– My runners: Laila (for coming back when I stopped, for seeing me through the first dreadful 3 miles, for all the enthusiasm and support), and everyone I’ve run with: Harriet, Kelly, Sarah Peck (my first ever 13.1!), Kate, Andrea, (Mark for the lift!), George, and all the offers of running company.
– Alan Law, physio extraordinaire who gave his services for free to help see me through this with proper dodgy knees. He is a wonder physio. If you need help and you can get to Horsham, go and see him.
– Nev’s parents, Christine and Melvyn, and Kath and Jon, who have constantly helped with childcare, dinners, support and love, and who we couldn’t be responsible adults without – it would all just fall apart.
– My husband Nev, who’s unwavering support, through this and every aspect of my life, allows me to achieve what I want, whether it’s passing my grade 1 ukulele exam or running this marathon. I couldn’t do any of this, any of anything, without you.
– My parents and my brother. I have THE MOST WONDERFUL family, and along with Nev are my absolute best friends. We are a proper team, and I absolutely adore you all.
To all of you that have read these blogs, THANK YOU. I know they are difficult to read, I feel so incredibly grateful for all the support.
For me, these blogs boil down to this. Addiction is a mental health problem, and as a society we need to be compassionate, not judgemental. Perhaps because of my view on this, and my experience with addiction, and the fact we lost Eva, what I value more than anything in people is kindness, compassion, lack of judgement and empathy. I am not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination, but this is what I value in others and so this is what I surround myself with. I learn from these people how to be better. And so, really, it should never have been a surprise to me how well received this blog has been and how well supported I’ve been, because these are qualities that all my friends have. So as my friends, this is what I ask. Remember Eva. Remember this blog. Remember that everyone needs compassion in their lives. Don’t judge – we don’t know what background people have come from, and we know nothing of their battles. And if you hear someone talking about addiction in unfair terms, and you feel comfortable, challenge it. If 1 in 5 of us are affected by addiction, there’s probably someone else in the room that will be really glad you spoke up. You will be speaking up for me, and for Eva, and for my family. And these small changes are how we change the world.
So, for sponsoring me, for reading, for supporting me, for your empathy and kindness,
Thank you all so much X X X
https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-portal/fundraiserPage?pageId=854688
My London Marathon 2018 